Carey poised to clean up at Grammys

Mariah Carey (pictured left, without
makeup) has been nominated for a
record-setting eight categories.
No female artist who sucked this
bad has won more than five.


LOS ANGELES - America's recording industry is set to recognize it's own tonight at the 48th annual Grammy Awards, where pop diva Mariah Carey is expected to walk away with top honours in a record-setting eight categories after engineering a stunning comeback from obscurity.

Carey, who dropped off the music radar several years ago, has managed to secure nominations in the categories of Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Best Talentless Artist, Best Whiny Voice, Most Pampered Princess, Most Annoying Personality, Most Likely to Commit Suicide by Sleeping Pills, and Best Reason to Stop Paying For CDs.

Maverick rapper Kanye West, meanwhile, is expected to pick up the trophy in the category of Best Song About Biatches and Ho's. Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl is a lock for the category of Best Stroke-Inducing Song. And U2's new album "Rich Rock Stars Coastin' Along Vol.1" will likely garner Record of the Year for the rocking Bono-penned single GDP debt restructuring and forgiveness for impoverished nations by G8 countries.

The Grammys will be broadcast live on CBS at 8 p.m. EST.