Mommy, if God loves us then why did He create Bon Jovi?
On January 21 2006, a chartered 707 jet carrying the band Bon Jovi skidded off the runway while attempting to land at Hamilton airport. Tragically, all aboard were unhurt. However, leaked eyewitness reports have since surfaced indicating frontman Jon Bon Jovi suffered significant hair dishevelment.
But somehow, in the midst of this tragedy, his dedicated team of hair technicians valiantly stepped up to the plate and were able to pouffe him and the other Bad Boys From New Jersey® up sufficiently to play four sold-out shows at the Air Canada Centre.
"We can rebuild him. We have the mousse."
Look, I admit it. I'm a music snob. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but there it is. As a musician myself, I would love nothing better than to be able to cherish every single note of any kind of music ever made. Just like I'd love to be able to enjoy every single kind of food there is. But I don't. And don't even get me started on pickles, carrots or fish.
But what I really, really despise about the music industry is the complete lack of substance that commercial radio is peddling. There's an old saying that perception is reality, and you only have to look at the shite they're ramming down our throats to prove that image is everything.
Pretty-boy bands abound. Bon Jovi, Our Lady Peace, Nickelback are all of a breed of overprocessed "corporate rock" that is safe, family friendly and looks good on TV. Rap stars are the other extreme -- alpha males struttin' about weighed down by their gold bling and cappin yo ass to protect they music empire turf, dawg. But whatever the musical stripe, it's all about the computer-designed, market research-derived image. More accountants jerking off.
Fortunately, indie music is alive and well. Kudos to the Arcade Fire, who have consistently refused major label record deals in order to let their music speak for itself. But frankly, I don't give a rat's ass what kind of music you're into. Just stop blindly eating whatever you're fed. Shut off the radio, make the effort to find some real music you like, and decide for yourself. It's worth the effort, dawg.
But somehow, in the midst of this tragedy, his dedicated team of hair technicians valiantly stepped up to the plate and were able to pouffe him and the other Bad Boys From New Jersey® up sufficiently to play four sold-out shows at the Air Canada Centre.
"We can rebuild him. We have the mousse."
Look, I admit it. I'm a music snob. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but there it is. As a musician myself, I would love nothing better than to be able to cherish every single note of any kind of music ever made. Just like I'd love to be able to enjoy every single kind of food there is. But I don't. And don't even get me started on pickles, carrots or fish.
But what I really, really despise about the music industry is the complete lack of substance that commercial radio is peddling. There's an old saying that perception is reality, and you only have to look at the shite they're ramming down our throats to prove that image is everything.
Pretty-boy bands abound. Bon Jovi, Our Lady Peace, Nickelback are all of a breed of overprocessed "corporate rock" that is safe, family friendly and looks good on TV. Rap stars are the other extreme -- alpha males struttin' about weighed down by their gold bling and cappin yo ass to protect they music empire turf, dawg. But whatever the musical stripe, it's all about the computer-designed, market research-derived image. More accountants jerking off.
Fortunately, indie music is alive and well. Kudos to the Arcade Fire, who have consistently refused major label record deals in order to let their music speak for itself. But frankly, I don't give a rat's ass what kind of music you're into. Just stop blindly eating whatever you're fed. Shut off the radio, make the effort to find some real music you like, and decide for yourself. It's worth the effort, dawg.
1 Comments:
nice rant, deaner!
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