Trials and tribulations of a Leafs fan
So much happening in the world, and so much suckage to rant about..
Ontario Premier Dalton "Norman Bates" McGuinty thinks Torontonians should rally behind the Ottawa Senators now that the Toronto Maple Leafs have failed to make the playoffs.
Let's get one thing straight, Norman. Ain't gonna happen.
Dalton McGuinty or Norman Bates -- can you tell them apart?
I don't deny that the Senators are a talented team. They're fast, offensively-gifted and committed to defense. But let's face it -- they fold like a bad poker hand when it matters the most. So it would be harsh of me to say I hate them. They may be pansy-assed losers, but I don't hate them.
It's their fans I hate.
Ottawa fans, you see, are all ex-Leafs fans. When Ottawa was awarded the NHL franchise a dozen years ago they slowly jumped ship. Which is fine -- hometown pride, 'n all. But like ex-smokers, they completely berate anyone who indulges in their former addiction, the Leafs. They have only one mission in life: Destroy The Leafs At All Costs.
Every year the Sens surpass Toronto in the points totals. Every year they secure a higher playoff berth than Toronto. Every year they beat us silly during the regular season. Every year their fans tell us how much Toronto sucks. And every year we send them yelping home from the playoffs.
This year is different, of course. They're in the playoffs and we're not. They've secured the #1 spot overall in the eastern conference. And that's all fine and dandy. Because it means that some other team will just have to give them a bruising. Some other team gets to wipe that smug grin off Ottawa fans' faces. Some other team gets to do our dirty work for us.
Being a Leafs fan is a unique position. We desperately love our team, even though they constantly disappoint us. And for that every other team's fans hates ours. Doesn't matter what your team is: you hate your rival, AND you hate the Leafs. Just because. That's one of the reasons why I love them: I get off knowing that some schmuck fan of Phoenix, Nashville or Columbus automatically hates me because I'm a Leafs fan.
Ottawa fans think they've got the biggest rivalry going, but that's where they're mistaken. They have to stand in line, right behind all 29 other NHL teams.
When the chips are down, Ottawa will cave. Again. Like they always do. The difference between a Leafs player and a Sens player is that the former isn't afraid to take a puck in the face and get his hands dirty. Ottawa's players will forget their talents when the fear overtakes them, and they'll run away like little girls afraid of breaking a nail. Ottawa fans will be hoppin' mad.
I can't wait.
The playoffs are here. Go Calgary, Go.
Ontario Premier Dalton "Norman Bates" McGuinty thinks Torontonians should rally behind the Ottawa Senators now that the Toronto Maple Leafs have failed to make the playoffs.
Let's get one thing straight, Norman. Ain't gonna happen.
Dalton McGuinty or Norman Bates -- can you tell them apart?I don't deny that the Senators are a talented team. They're fast, offensively-gifted and committed to defense. But let's face it -- they fold like a bad poker hand when it matters the most. So it would be harsh of me to say I hate them. They may be pansy-assed losers, but I don't hate them.
It's their fans I hate.
Ottawa fans, you see, are all ex-Leafs fans. When Ottawa was awarded the NHL franchise a dozen years ago they slowly jumped ship. Which is fine -- hometown pride, 'n all. But like ex-smokers, they completely berate anyone who indulges in their former addiction, the Leafs. They have only one mission in life: Destroy The Leafs At All Costs.
Every year the Sens surpass Toronto in the points totals. Every year they secure a higher playoff berth than Toronto. Every year they beat us silly during the regular season. Every year their fans tell us how much Toronto sucks. And every year we send them yelping home from the playoffs.
This year is different, of course. They're in the playoffs and we're not. They've secured the #1 spot overall in the eastern conference. And that's all fine and dandy. Because it means that some other team will just have to give them a bruising. Some other team gets to wipe that smug grin off Ottawa fans' faces. Some other team gets to do our dirty work for us.
Being a Leafs fan is a unique position. We desperately love our team, even though they constantly disappoint us. And for that every other team's fans hates ours. Doesn't matter what your team is: you hate your rival, AND you hate the Leafs. Just because. That's one of the reasons why I love them: I get off knowing that some schmuck fan of Phoenix, Nashville or Columbus automatically hates me because I'm a Leafs fan.
Ottawa fans think they've got the biggest rivalry going, but that's where they're mistaken. They have to stand in line, right behind all 29 other NHL teams.
When the chips are down, Ottawa will cave. Again. Like they always do. The difference between a Leafs player and a Sens player is that the former isn't afraid to take a puck in the face and get his hands dirty. Ottawa's players will forget their talents when the fear overtakes them, and they'll run away like little girls afraid of breaking a nail. Ottawa fans will be hoppin' mad.
I can't wait.
The playoffs are here. Go Calgary, Go.
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