Maybe North Korean nukes aren't such a bad thing
North Korean president Kim Jong-Il is crazy as a shithouse rat. And now he has nuclear weapons. Nice.
U.S. President George W. Bush, by contrast, is not crazy. He is, however, very very stupid. And he also has nuclear weapons. Nice.
I can't help but think that there's a certain child/adult dynamic at play here. Kim "only fat guy in north korea" Jong-Il is an overfed two-year old with a very large glandular problem. George W. "biggest moron since taft" Bush is an undersexed sixty-year old with a very large Jesus problem. And herein lies the root of the problem: Dubya is playing the role of the parent of a two-year old, so he needs to take lessons in child psychology.
Any parent of a two-year old knows that when the child abuses his/her toys, the parent threatens to take away the toys. And when the parent does take away the toys, the child has a temper tantrum. So when Bush threatens to take away Kim's nukes because he is being careless with his missiles -- shooting them too close to, say, Japan -- he risks incurring Kim's temper. And when this happens, it won't simply be a question of flopping around on the ground, crying, and smashing his fists. It will be a question of flopping around on the ground, crying, smashing his fists AND sending 10,000 more dissidents to die in one of his concentration camps.
And no responsible parent would EVER let their two-year old have their own concentration camp. Not until they are at least sixteen.
Bush, as the parent in this little drama, needs to exercise a certain amount of restraint. When Kim's older brother, Saddam, ran over the next door neighbour's cat (Kuwait) and then allegedly stashed some smokes in his room, Bush went overboard. Instead of trying to talk to Saddam, he permanently grounded him in the garage. Instead of just searching for the alleged smokes, Bush gutted Saddam's bedroom and turned it into an office/den. This is a little excessive.
Yet some relations cannot be salvaged. When this happens, the only thing left is to safely let out the aggression.
I propose that a neutral third country not currently being used for anything useful, France for instance, be offered up by the UN. Next, Bush and Kim will each be allowed to fire no more than five nuclear warheads into the country. Which party gets to shoot first would be decided by a coin toss administered by UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan.
So, under this scenario, if Bush gets to shoot first, he could choose to nuke Paris. Then Kim could choose to nuke Lyons. You get the idea. Harmless controlled aggression.
In theory, this should exercise their respective war tendencies, much like castrating a dog. And France would get nuked. Win-win, n'est pas?
U.S. President George W. Bush, by contrast, is not crazy. He is, however, very very stupid. And he also has nuclear weapons. Nice.
I can't help but think that there's a certain child/adult dynamic at play here. Kim "only fat guy in north korea" Jong-Il is an overfed two-year old with a very large glandular problem. George W. "biggest moron since taft" Bush is an undersexed sixty-year old with a very large Jesus problem. And herein lies the root of the problem: Dubya is playing the role of the parent of a two-year old, so he needs to take lessons in child psychology.
Any parent of a two-year old knows that when the child abuses his/her toys, the parent threatens to take away the toys. And when the parent does take away the toys, the child has a temper tantrum. So when Bush threatens to take away Kim's nukes because he is being careless with his missiles -- shooting them too close to, say, Japan -- he risks incurring Kim's temper. And when this happens, it won't simply be a question of flopping around on the ground, crying, and smashing his fists. It will be a question of flopping around on the ground, crying, smashing his fists AND sending 10,000 more dissidents to die in one of his concentration camps.
And no responsible parent would EVER let their two-year old have their own concentration camp. Not until they are at least sixteen.
Bush, as the parent in this little drama, needs to exercise a certain amount of restraint. When Kim's older brother, Saddam, ran over the next door neighbour's cat (Kuwait) and then allegedly stashed some smokes in his room, Bush went overboard. Instead of trying to talk to Saddam, he permanently grounded him in the garage. Instead of just searching for the alleged smokes, Bush gutted Saddam's bedroom and turned it into an office/den. This is a little excessive.
Yet some relations cannot be salvaged. When this happens, the only thing left is to safely let out the aggression.
I propose that a neutral third country not currently being used for anything useful, France for instance, be offered up by the UN. Next, Bush and Kim will each be allowed to fire no more than five nuclear warheads into the country. Which party gets to shoot first would be decided by a coin toss administered by UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan.
So, under this scenario, if Bush gets to shoot first, he could choose to nuke Paris. Then Kim could choose to nuke Lyons. You get the idea. Harmless controlled aggression.
In theory, this should exercise their respective war tendencies, much like castrating a dog. And France would get nuked. Win-win, n'est pas?
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